Wednesday, August 25, 2004
woot.. finally it's over.. finished my UOP and PCON common tests.. tink i did badly for both the tests.. hai~ oh man.. i wanted to practice often and get gd grades tis semester but from the loks of it, i tink i failed.. damn, hate tis feeling of failing to do wat i promised to do.. it seems i can't do anything rite at all, nt gd at tis, nt gd at dat.. i feel inferior..shucks.. sometimes i wish dat everything is a dream and dat everythin will go according to wat i wan. sometimes i hate my personality, it sux.. i dun mean to act aloof. i like to tok but i would rather stand aside and listen to the various topics chatting and the viewpts given. feeling kinda stressed wif the fyp.. seeing others doing but i'm jus like suspended there. veri veri veri lost. wondering whether my choice of grping is correct.. made a big risk in takin xinzhong.. and den when viking joined us, he was abit unwilling i tink, kinda haf the feeling we forced him to join us.. n now frm a 3-man grp, we r down to 2. i hate doing grp projects.. cos i noe i'm unpredictable, work mood changes veri quikly and i'm jus afraid of causing other ppl's grade to drop. dat's y i rather do things on my own, even though sumtimes i do wish there's someone to share my workload, my troubles. feeling apologetic now... gar hein told mi b4 to stand up and lead, haf a firm grip on the direction ur project grp is heading. but i can't or izit i dun wan to..., i dun trust my judgement and leadership. wat if i lead the grp to more troubles.. how? how? dat's jus it.. i'm scared,i'm afraid. damn, i'm weak, physically and mentally. i need my confidence, i need someone to support mi? for the past few weeks, i haf been trying to ignore abt tis fyp, but the deadline is approaching.. everybody is rushing it, i haf to tink n consider my nxt move.. oh pls, god, gif mi a sign n tell mi wat i mus do to bring us to salvation...
KeviN~ @ 4:46 PM
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Monday, August 23, 2004
after a week of absence, i'm back.. it's study week and i'm supposed to study, revise and do everything a gd student shld do, but wat haf i done? nuthing much xcept plaeing, watching tv and mm.. 2 hrs of flipping thru the notes? oh man.. i'm dead.. but dunno y, i jus dun haf the mood to study yet.. wtf.. i remember promising myself to do better tis sem. for myself and to prove to her n others dat i can do it, jus dat i've been slacking the past 2 years.. but now i can't even get myself into the mood.. whenever i'm feeling depressed, i would like to lie back, listen to soothing music and then i will feel slightly better.. hai~
This is a motivational story heard by my fren:
THE CHAMPION STORY
(whenever u feel like giving up, tink of tis)
"supposing one dae, u r feeling down, and everything in tis world seems to b going against u.. n it so happened ur parents or siblings quarrelled wif u over the simplest of things along the side of the road, in the fit of anger, u jus walked across the road. at tis moment, a lorry was speeding and jus as it was abt to hit u, the person u was quarrelling wif ran n pushed u aside n was killed instantly.. will u feel sad? will u regret quarrelling wif dat person? will u feel like dying wif the person at dat moment and gif up on life?
sure.. u will feel sad, of cos u will regret quarrelling n u will wish dat u were the one being killed. but since u were given the chance to continue living, live it to the fullest.. of cos the above story is abit far-fetched, wat i wanted to sae was dat no matter how terrible u feel ur life might b, u shld nver gif up..
wat would u feel abt tis person whom many ppl haf sacrificed their life for him/her yet the person jus wan to rot his life away? would u feel like whacking tis person? hundreds, thousands and perhaps millions of ppl's blood haf been bleed for tis person, yet he/she wan to idle his/her life away.. surely u would feel like whacking tis person..
when ur dad & mum created u, millions of sperms swam their way to the egg. millions of sperms which could haf been ur siblings died along the way.. u belong to the remaining few, one of the best, one of the strongest. n when u fertilised the egg, the rest died. so u might haf been the best of the best. wif so many "lives" dead jus for u to b born, can u bear to gif up jus lidat? n isn't tis somehow similiar to wat i haf earlier on said abt many ppl sacrificing their lives for dat one person. so whenever u feel like giving up, remember dat many lives haf been sacrificed for u & u r the one of the best cos u survived and emerged into tis world. U R A CHAMPION..
DUN GIF UP!!!
KeviN~ @ 6:42 PM
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Saturday, August 14, 2004
hey hey.. it's time for mi to write my blog again.. fridae.. zz.. PED sux.. woke up early to go sch finish my MEC project.. n nver went for jogging and dat kelvin was late too so they din go jog..
anyway, after rushing thru MEC, duh.. it's PED.. i'm stuck, i'm lost.. wat shld i do i also nono..
dat's da sad part of my dae.. yea, den went out to pei carol celebrate her birthdae.. went orchard wak walk, lol, well.. carol n peijun changed into their sch uniforms.. O_O!! nver c them in sch uniform b4 so it was a chance not to b missed... ROFL.. so ke ai.. =)
went hmv to take neoprints ( i haf also posted them) den went cineleisure.. den went to eat at da food festival thingy.. glutton's square? eat til so full.. shldn't haf bought so much.. but aiya, it's someone's birthdae party, a treat is nuthin... after eating, continue walk walk.. walk arh walk.. den haf to sae byebye le.. common test coming.. hai~ Best of luck.. ( tink it will apply to mi more..)
fridae the 13th went and passed.. =)
KeviN~ @ 2:16 AM
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KeviN~ @ 2:15 AM
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Friday, August 13, 2004
stressful dae arh.. had uop tut in the morning, but couldn't wake up for it.. duhhhhh.. tis few daes can't wake up for morning clazes, hai~
neither could i understand wat uop is abt now.. but heng arh, not in common test.. hai~~~ cGMP is another crap claz.. i haf tis feeling dat the lecturer doesn't like me.. zzz
jus finished watching "dou yu" (The Outsiders), borrowed the discs frm my fren. dylan kwok damn zai.. bth.. if can haf his build n his looks.. woot.. an yi xuan also veri qiang.. but story ending veri dotz dotz dotz.. sad ending i dun like..
all tis precious moments, wif u by my side.. mus b a gift frm heaven..
in my heart, i can no longer hold inside all the love i used to hide, i'll always b wif u til the veri end. in tis world there is no place i rather b, u r my life, my soul, my gal..
KeviN~ @ 1:02 AM
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
jus came back frm bukit batok driving centre.. went to enrol in driving lessons wif gar hein. tired sia.. yesterdae was spent at home, sitting arnd, alone... hai~ nvm.. got vcds to pei mi.. although i rather to haf her wif mi... but bu ke neng de, so watching ou xiang ju, the more ai qing inside the better?
i can't take it anymore.. i'm feeling terrible.. i keep telling myself dat i can 4get u and move on.. but.. dat's a lie.. i still like u, since the start of my poly life til now..
KeviN~ @ 4:18 PM
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Saturday, August 07, 2004
fridae went n passed, went for PED but didn't noe wat to do for the final year project crap.. later heard something n bcame moody, lol.. anyway, 2dae was supposed to do MEC project wif pj n carol, arranged to meet at 9am at np busstop... but carol was unable to come... =( , so it's up to mi n peijun to try to finish it up.. after which, we went to orchard to purchase some presents for carol. walked abt orchard, looking for items to buy.. lol, it has been an enjoyable dae..
felt a release from the bonds in my heart.. perhaps tis shld haf happen long ago.. for once we had a such a long talk.. mayb i shldn't haf keep trying to think wat her reaction might b whenever we started chatting, i shldn't b so conscious of my every actions.. had lots of fun 2dae, her personality is indeed unique frm others, mayb dat's y i was mesmerized by her when i 1st saw her.. anyway, i wanna thank her for making my life so enjoyable.. Thank You.. =)
brand new beginning for mi.. hopefully..
KeviN~ @ 11:42 PM
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Friday, August 06, 2004
thursdae went and passed, had UOP and PTPP.. so fast, it's gonna b common test week.. yet i still haven understand wat some lecturers are teaching.. sat in claz, but mind was wandering abt, suddenly felt like plaeing bball.. lol.. dunno y i got the urge to plae..
i'm like a glass bottle, slowly filling up wif thoughts abt u.. slowly, slowly i'm being filled up, soon i'm gonna explode.. i wanna shout out: " i really love u so, i wanna embrace u til the end of time..."
KeviN~ @ 1:08 AM
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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Wednesdae... duh.. it's a 8 to 5 dae. woke up early, hoping to miss the morning traffic jam.. lol, damn... still stuck in it.. spotted my fren on the bus, chatted abt old times, realised that time do passes veri quikly, without noe-ing it, we r 3rd years already.. soon going to ns le.. PCON.. PCON.. dun understand a thing abt it.. die liao lar, common test coming.. anyway, sat in claz and started dae-dreaming again.. yes, yes i noe.. dreaming too much again, always had an over-active mind. so i sat and begun tinking, "she's so near, yet still seem so far frm mi... do i haf a chance or it's impossible for us? *sigh* my fren hit the spot when he said abt hugging the pillow at nite, listening to slow songs while thinking abt the person u like.. still feeling strongly abt her..!!" need to change my mood for tis semester, been in a state of denial..
KeviN~ @ 10:45 PM
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Tuesday, August 03, 2004
2dae is IS dae, had to b in sch at 8 but... wtf, vehicle breakdown at macritche, causing slow traffic... as i sat on the bus, i knew i'm gonna b late AGAIN.. lol, trying to b punctual tis semester. anyway, reached sch at abt 8.20am or izit 8.30am?? mm.. nvm.. as i was walking to claz, damn, gastric pain.. damn seh.. had to make a detour and grab some food.. finally, i reached da claz. peijun den told mi her com not working.. o_O~ not working? not working cannot do project liao wor... den realised she 4got to on the main switch.. =) , getting abit careless, dear?
anyway, was wondering where's carol, den got the news dat she's not coming... wth.. but nvm..
after the IS classes, went jogging.. cannot make it arh.. felt myself like getting weaker each session.. lidat how how?? mus buck up liao... mayb it's bcos of my night-life..
on the way home, felt damn tired and fell aslp on the bus, dreamt of her again and missed my stop... duh!! hai~ i'm still holding a torch for her.. it's almost dinner time.. grab a bite n cya
KeviN~ @ 6:53 PM
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everydae i keep tinking of u, ur lovely eyes.. ur beautiful smile.. i dun expect much, except to c u smile and laugh everydae. cos when u feel sad, i will also feel sad. often u ask y i am so quiet? wat u nver notice was dat i dun tok cos i haf been mesmerized by u and dat i'm often in a daze cos my mind keeps on tinking of u. 2 years has passed, yet i'm still attracted to you. in ur eyes, wat am i? in mine, u r my precious, my princess, the centre of my universe and much more... i will do anything and everything for u...
KeviN~ @ 1:07 AM
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Monday, August 02, 2004
weekend passes so fast.. it's mondae, wif lab again. now rushing my lab report. *cough* cough season is on tis few daes and down wif bad cough *cough* dun feel well, but wat to do, jus haf to eat medicine and continue slogging.. rofl.. seeing my performance in sch.. tink i'm slacking too much instead.. anyway, it's a brand new week and can c her again.. makes my world complete. nite nite
KeviN~ @ 1:55 AM
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